The Tragedy Of A Track Marked Beauty Queen

Grab the wheel and make this life yours

Wed, 04 Jul 2007 05:04:13 GMT

I never write in this thing. I really should though; I'm always so bored with nothing to do. But I figured I'd come on and post my quarterly update. I have such a hectic schedule coming up. Some of which I am very excited for, some I'm just anxious to get over with. It's kind of depressing, to me it doesn't even feel like summer has begun. At the same time, I feel like I'm booked solid until school starts. July 11th I have to go give an interview at RPI. Almost every other day that week I'll be in New York at the hospital. July 17th and 18th I'm in Florida. July 19th I'm back in NY again for more tests and hospital garbage. July 21st I go on vaction until the 29th. I have my surgery on August 1st. August 1st - August 7th/8th I'm in the hospital. The next 2 weeks I'm bed ridden at my house. That leaves me what, 2 weeks before school? Yuck. Oh well. I haven't been seeing much of my friends much, which is upsetting. I've just been real stressed out with everything going on that whenever I do have a free day I just feel like sitting home. Atleast things with Kim have been going good. In 2 days it will be 6 months. Seems alot longer but the time flew at the same time. Well I had a long day, I need some sleep. I want to see everyone before I go into hiding for the whole month of August.

Mon, 16 Apr 2007 03:55:36 GMT

this break was really nice and relaxing
it went by way too quickly though
i spent most of it in aruba
i love aruba
i missed everyone alot though
when i came back home i had tons of fun
i got to see pretty much everyone
this friday through sunday im going down to philly
me and kim are getting a hotel
we're visiting some colleges
im excited, it should be alot of fun

oh and its official
i need to have surgery on my chest
theres a 90% chance that my surgery will be the week i get out of school
which has its ups and downs
the downside is i spend the beginning of break in the hospital
the good side is i get to get it out of the way
so i'll be able to have a some what normal 2nd half of the summer
i'm real nervous though
i have to spend the first 2 day in the pain management wing
which doesnt sound so pleasing to me
although i was told i'll be so drugged up that i won't even notice
which means i'm going to be a complete potato brain fart for 2 days
which isnt that great either
but i need to spend a little over the week in the hospital
i was looking forward to having people visit me
but i need to have the surgery at columbia university in new york
so i'll be in their hospital =/
i dont want anyone to come visit me if im that far away
but atleast its only a week and not like 2-3 weeks
like they told me the last time i visited 4 years ago
so i guess the procedure has been improved
eventhough i still need to live with a metal pole in my chest for 3 years.

enough of that
i need to get on to finishing homework for tomorrow
i hope to see everyone this week
good night
<3Mike

Fri, 02 Mar 2007 04:51:40 GMT

THE doctor is on saturday afternoon.
i'm worried.
for all those who don't know what i'm talking about,
i'll post explaining it soon.
it's too late right now.
connecticut tomorrow.
hope to see everyone this weekend.
stop fighting.
good night
<3Mike

Tue, 27 Feb 2007 05:41:27 GMT

i've spent a lot of the last week in deep thought.
very few things have been bothering me.
i feel almost like im having too much fun.
everything is going too well.
i feel like i should have something bad looming over me.
maybe i fell like that from last may.
may through early december it was constant worrying.
what was tatiana going to do next.
what did i do now.
it was the constant pressure i was feeling.
but the last two months theres been a great decrease in that pressure.
the only lingering pressure now is the future.
sat.
school.
grades.
colleges.
its approaching too soon.
though i can't wait to get out of new jersey.
i'm excited to leave behind all my problems.
and start again somewhere.
with a fresh slate.
don't get me wrong i'm going to keep in touch with all my friends of course.
its the drama i've dealt with the last year.
i'm sure it will continue until through next year as well.
1 year.
if thats all the time i have left.
i'll deal with it.
1 year is a short amount of time.

mine and kim's relationship has been great.
no fighting.
something new to me.
no drama.
something new to me.
someone who actually cares for me and loves me.
its a good feeling.
i'm trying my best to give back what i've been receiving.
its been pleasant.
she makes me happy.

i want to be friends with my old friends again.
it seems like it all broke down because of petty things:
tatiana and other girls played a roll,
-which shouldnt have caused us to stop hanging out.
tsd and aec breaking up,
-we werent friends JUST because we were in a band together.
me starting to drink and smoke
-though i completely understand a level of disappointment, i don't see why it caused us to grow apart.

i dont know.
i miss old times.
tsd times.
never leaving my basement.
halo.
mario tennis.
socom.
the days when drama was irrelevent,
and fighting was nonexistent.
wishful thinking.
good night
<3Mike

Fri, 09 Feb 2007 05:57:24 GMT

wow.
that's all.
wow.

Thu, 08 Feb 2007 03:10:50 GMT

i am loving life so much.
but for some reason hating everybody.

i'm just tired of everyone fighting.
everyone talking behind eachothers backs.
everyone taking sides on petty arguments that have nothing to do with them.
and grudges.
mad grudges.

everyone needs to relax.
and realize everything posi in their life,
instead of focusing on the minor negative inconveniences.
but i'm no philosopher.
early night.
<3Mike

love life '07? i think so

Sat, 20 Jan 2007 18:30:04 GMT

LOVE:
1. long weekends
2. random events
3. fun people
4. all my friends - especially those who i'm starting to see or talk to quite often: zakk, eva, a. glass, james, craig, etc.
5. kim - a relationship that's actual fun and unstressful in every way
6. ~~drugs & alcohol~~
7. long drives going no where
8. midterms being over with
9. music
10. ~~turkish royals~~
11. red bank
12. rekindling old relationships
13. summerslam in 7 months
14. discovery science
15. str8 chillin'
16. YOU

HATE:
1. nothing!

i'm happy.
you should be too.
thanks to everyone who made me that way.

<3Mike

Tue, 07 Nov 2006 04:07:42 GMT

today is shit.

Tue, 26 Sep 2006 23:14:29 GMT

i'm happy.
and it's been a while since i could say that.
this last weekend was so good.
thank you so much to everyone who came to the AEC show.
it really means alot.
i'm excited for this week/weekend.
i'm in such a good mood.
i love my friends.
i hope everything with my friends that are having trouble blows over,
they don't deserve any of the shit they're getting.
time for some ap physics homework.
<3Mike

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 02:30:43 GMT

uh oh.

Tue, 19 Sep 2006 19:05:03 GMT

hello.
i got out of school early,
so i decided to post in this.
i love school for some reason?
it's weird.
call me crazy but i really do.
not that i LOVE cba,
aside from free periods,
and a few amazing kids,
just that i'm actually accomplishing something with my life.
it's one of the few things people can't fuck up in my life.
as long as i stay on the ball i'll be set.
the d going away to college was kind of an eye opener.
2 years from now i'll be sitting on a college campus.
who knows where.

this week is bound to be hectic.
i dont have a full day of school all week though.
half day tomorrow,
shortened periods thursday and friday.
um band practice today, thursday, and friday.
work thursday and friday.
going out tomorrow after school.
going out thursday afer school.
going out friday night.
joe's coming home friday
show on saturday.
packedddd.

news?
a little.
i went shopping with my mom yesterday.
it was actually alot of fun.
i bought 3 new YL old navy button downs.
i'm clearly gay.
i bought 2 new pairs of girl pants, not jeans.
i'm clearly gay.
i bought new school shoes.
i'm clearly gay.
i bought new sneakers.
COACH sneakers.
i'm clearly very gay.
but it was alot of fun.
oh so tatiana IMed me two nights ago.
which i thought was no good.
i was just ready for a fight,
when that "accept IM from..." popped up.
i was thinking "great, here we go again."
she was unusually nice though.
she IMed me just to catch up and talk.
she asked to go to lunch with me saturday before the show.
like i said,
this week is hectic.
about as hectic as it could get.
i need to get onto my homework.
i hope to see mad heads saturday.
i love you guys.
<3 Mike

ps - it's mine and kim renna's would be 2 year anniversary. get excited.

Thu, 14 Sep 2006 01:09:50 GMT

well as everyone knows,
schools back into full swing.
it's alright i guess.
i kinda a like it.
but i know in like a month i'll be dying for christmas,
or some sort of break.
i'm really anxious for my birthday.
i'm starting to make plans,
and i'm able to say "oh i'll drive us to that".
gas money will be my only worry really.
i'm looking forward to just driving somewhere,
when i'm bored as fuck.
seeing my friends whenever i want.
leaving school early.
the band is moving along nicely.
comeback show in 10 days.
i'm really excited.
but we still have quite a bit of work to do.
we should be ready in time.
im stoked.
i have some homework to do.
take care everyone
<3Mike

ps - anyone want to fine me a girlfriend?

Mon, 04 Sep 2006 07:27:25 GMT

glorious day.
then one of THOSE fucking things happens.
fuck you.
fucking whore.

Sat, 02 Sep 2006 06:14:22 GMT

well last night was awesome.
i saw everyone i loved in red bank.
and cowalker<3 and pi<3 and itsf <3 and takeover<3 and everyone.
it was bundles of fun.
today was boringggg.
it was nasty out.
no one had rides anywhere.
no one did anything.
i just sat in my house all day.
but oh!
tatiana IMed me today.
first time i talked to her in a month and a half.
but low and behold,
she IMed me with the sole purpose to bitch at me.
not something i wanted to deal with.
she was bitching about my last post.
why she cares i have no idea.
she is the cause to all my saddness and problems.
if that girl didn't exist,
i'd be the happiest, most positive kid ever.
not to mention i probably wouldn't have started drinking and smoking.
when she IMed me i got like a knot in my stomach.
i didn't even have to look at it,
i knew it was just going to turn into a fight before i even looked.
i don't even know what that girl has against me.
we got back from vacation,
and she decided she didn't want to be with me,
and hung up on me.
we haven't exchanged words since.
i don't understand what i did?
all she did today was call me a dick and an asshole.
over and over and over again.
and tell me i was mean and just name after name.
i thought i treated her well?
i don't know where she got so much hate.
and hate for me.
yet she manages to pin it on me.
like her cheating on me,
and everything that followed,
was my fault.
i don't understand.
oh well.
she blocked my other screenname after she was done yelling at me.
i'm just going to try and let it go by.
i'm not going to let her pull me down anymore.
i dealt with her shit too long.
i've been working on moving on.
and i'm proud how far i've come.
thank you to all my friends.
for putting up with all my tatiana shit over the last year and a half.
it would have been ALOT harder without all of you.
and i love all of you so much.
i'm a very lucky guy.
and with that, i end this enty.
good night everyone
<3 Mike

Wed, 30 Aug 2006 19:23:30 GMT

woot!
i got back from pittsburgh two days ago.
that was LONG but alot of fun.
and now i have $$$ so i can go out.
last night i went to the bep and pcd show at pnc.
i saw alot of kids i wanted to see.
it was alot of fun.
a little cold and wet but its all good.
i've been quite happy recently.
i can't say my heads on completely straight.
but atleast i'm happy.
i'll take everything one step at a time.
it may take some time,
but i can deal.
school starts up soon.
i'm quite excited for that.
i'm a t00l.
but i'm also looking forward to fall and winter.
even though i HATE the cold.
i love the clothes.
i'm a t00l.
2 nights ago in red bank i ran into Mrs. Johnson.
she's a doll, it was nice talking to her.
she's always exceptionally nice.
then i walked by tatiana, bstine, and arielle.
it was the first time i've seen any of them in a month and a half.
i casually and politely said hi.
bstine and arielle said hi.
tatiana put her head down and scurried away.
she couldnt have made it more awkward.
i dont care about her making it awkward.
but i feel bad for her friends.
you can cut the tension with a knife
and i'm sure she made them feel uncomfortable.
she's still acting like i owe her something,
or that anything that happened was my fault.
oh well.
she can live her life in that illusion.
she's always been a big fan of drama.
can't you always pick out those girls?
the girls that are just drama magnets?
they stick out so much to me.
they're the girls that say "i hate drama".
but cause it all.
i dealt with it for a long time with her.
but now i'm glad to be pretty much drama free.
as the time goes by i've been letting out more and more stess.
i've gone from like being physically sick,
to pretty much normal and chill now.
i mean i have my bad days and moments,
but who doesn't.
i'm content.
let me leave it at that.
lets see.
oh.
i've been seeing/talking to danielle fecci alot again.
she's a pleasure to be around.
she always seems to turn my shitty days around.
that's one trait all my friends are pros at.
being single for the summer = mad bro time.
and i love it.
once i dive back into relationships again,
i'll remember these times and keep more time open.

on a bad note.
dark age of camelot is refusing to download any faster.
and its making me quite angry because i really want to play.
D leaves tomorrow.
i'm going to cry.
he's the fucking man.
hopefully he'll come back and visit us often.
that's all i have time for.
if you took the time to read this.
get a life and go outside.
take care
<3 Mike

Thu, 24 Aug 2006 05:06:35 GMT

so today was spectacular.
actually,
just the last month has been spectacular.
like with the drama of tatiana gone,
i've been having the time of my life.
my friends are the best.
i haven't spent any time at my house,
i have been out constantly, and i love it.
i went out to dinner with lindsay tonight,
it was really nice, we went to friendly's.
then i went to see trophy scars,
they played sooooo good.
oh, and i punched some kid in the nose,
with quite some force.
oops.
i leave tomorrow for pittsburgh.
i can't wait.
it's going to be such a good time.
i'll miss all my peeps though.
i have to start packing.
take care everyone.
<3 Mike

lets go mets?!

Sun, 20 Aug 2006 05:48:15 GMT

today was alot of fun.
i woke up around 12.
then went out to lunch with lindsay.
then i got home around 4 and went to new york.
to see the mets game <3.
it was alot of fun.
spent some quality time with the family.
something always good to do every now and then.
i got home around 1:30.
i'm in the mood to go to the mall tomorrow.
but i'm not sure yet, anyone want to go?
so i've gotten another person pissed at me today.
i'm really racking them up.
sleep tight.
<3

i can never think of a subject

Sat, 19 Aug 2006 03:47:13 GMT

welp
today was awesome.
i woke up 2 and a half hours late for work.
in my own house...
so i worked for 3 hours,
ate alot,
sat around and played xbox 360 for like hours on end.
then the band + D came over.
we had band practice.
which went awesome.
renamed our band MANEATER.
then i went to red bank.
MAD heads were there.
the cool half of itsf was there,
and the solo artist.
<3333333333333333
mad love
<3333333333333333
and of course lauren and gab and eva.
i havent seen any of them in quite some time.
today was a good day overall.
as for now i was thinking about doing some summer reading?
but i know i'm going to end up just sitting up
and browsing myspaces for hours until i go to bed.
actually i think i'm going to go play some guitar.
i'm in the process of writing a song?
i'm so emo.
tomorrow i am going to a met baseball game?
random?
but cool i guess.
i havent been to a baseball game in ages.
i leave at 430.
anyone want to go out to lunch with me before?
good night all.
<3

blast from the past

Fri, 18 Aug 2006 07:36:11 GMT

so since i had to be on here anyway,
why not start writing in it?
its the red bank thing to do.
and i need all the scene points i can get.

i opened my lj to update it,
and there was an old draft saved in it still,
it was pretty nasty, not in a good mood i guess.
it was only 2 days after the whole tatiana situation.
rough shit.
i'm so glad thats done.
life has been so mellow.
for the first time in my life,
i know i deserve better.
much better.

i went to go bowling today with lindsay.
but like always, there were no lanes.
so we ended up just hanging around airport plaza.
for like 4 hours.
it was so much fun.
i'm happy i didnt go to 311 today.
everything happens for a reason.
i can see the reason for me not going.
reasons*

life has been pretty drama free.
except for a little hickup right now concerning my sketchiness.
but i cant complain.
i love music.
love it.
i bought tickets to fear before, btbam, norma jean today.
for oct 14th at the stone pony.
i cant wait.
everyone should come.
hopefully no big kids will be there.
i know there will be.
and i snap like a twig around big kids.
gaussian, keep you're crowd away.

i need to start summer reading.
fuck.
i REALLY need to start summer reading.

i have alot on my mind.
ALOT.
i need to figure some stuff out before i move forward.

i miss phoebe.
i miss zakk.
i miss ryan. big time.
but most of all, i miss my man kevin.
you guys ^^^^^
hang out with me.
now.

its getting late.
i'll post again soon.
good night.
<3

Friends Only

Tue, 11 Oct 2005 00:58:15 GMT

Comment me and let me know who you are and I'll add you.

<3 Mike